A letter to the guy I almost Had

Dear You, 

   Hi, how are you? It’s been years, I know huh. It’s been years since that day where a text message from you changed everything. Funny how they still ask me some what ifs. Funny how they keep on telling me that our story would be an inspiring one. Funny because I keep on telling them to move on… to move on to the things that didn’t even happen.

I remember when someone asked me if I got mad at you? or If I am still mad at you..? I won’t lie, I did hated you years ago. I hated you for leaving, for leaving me with whys, what ifs and maybes. I hated you for promising that you’ll still be the same you and you’ll still be there for me. I hated you bigtime, because you didn’t. You acted the other way. It felt like I’m just a wall. It felt like I’m invisible. It felt like we’re strangers. I hated you so much for not telling me that I’m in a race where the first one who’ll reach the edge will win your heart and I hated myself years ago for praying and hoping that you’ll come back and realize that I am the one for you. I hated myself for imagining how happy my life would be if we’re together. I hated myself for having these illusions that I know eventually will stuck as my daydream.

Having those what if moments years ago, I wish I never met you. I wish I can recall and talk about love to others without me having ungrateful thoughts, what ifs, buts and maybes. I wish I can listen to some songs without me remembering you. I wish you’re not the only story I could tell. 

But No worries, that was me years ago.

So how did I moved forward? How did I moved forward to the things that didn’t even happen. I just reminded myself that God saved me. God saved me from an almost relationship where two different worlds are not meant to be collided. 

But still, thank you. Thank you for those moments we’ve had. Those laughter we’ve shared. I know, my story on your book has ended years ago so I’m sorry, I’m sorry for you will still be the story that I could tell to everyone. I’m sorry for there’s still no one after you. I wish our story on my book fades and replaced with a different one. A different story that has no ending.

 …..

 

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