Cried enough from May to July.
Hoping the last five months of the year bring more peace,
more healing, and more reasons to smile.
🙂
what’s on my mind
I’m tired. I’m exhausted.
I still find it hard to sleep. I still haven’t gotten my appetite back too. The amount of tears I shed every night… I mean this year rather is crazy! the year isn’t even over yet. I keep myself busy just to feel okay and distracted.
I’m trying so hard not to hate this year. I’m holding on to the hope that things will get better. There are still moments that made me smile and happy, and I’m choosing to hold on to those moments.
I’m just trying my best to find my spark again. 🙂 Not for anyone else – but for myself ❤
for myself.
It’s time to give that love back to me.
Give yourself permission to be sad without forcing yourself to “move on” tonight.
Protected: Truth I Wasn’t Ready For
Protected: Thinking of you #1
Protected: is this the end of us?
Protected: Letting you go, Bran
One steady hand
There’s a question that keeps tapping at the back of my mind: what would it feel like to have someone who is sure of me? I catch myself daydreaming with a careful kind of hope: if love finds me again, let it be sure. I want someone who notices the small, messy pieces of me and chooses to stay anyway — someone who believes I’m worth trying for and fighting for. The thought loosens something in my chest; it feels like permission to stop performing and start being.
There’s a bruise under that hope. Every time a guy I meet seemed to be building toward something, he changed his mind and left me wondering which part of me wasn’t enough. That pattern taught me caution: I test silences, rehearse explanations, and count the ways someone might walk away before they do. It’s exhausting and a little ridiculous, like watching myself prepare for storms that don’t always come.
I’ll let this hope be a compass, not a contract. I’ll practice staying with fear and longing, name my old instincts, and try different moves: ask for small things, say when I’m scared, stay five more minutes. If someone is sure, I’ll notice it; if not, I’ll keep showing up for myself and heal bit by bit.
🌼🌼🌼 